Outstanding Guest Rooster Emoji in a Television Series

On Timothy Olyphant's Emmy nomination and the mortifying embarrassment of existence, Only Murders in the Building, and a cute Dani Rojas moment.

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Happy September, friends of Hyperfixate! September is my favourite month simply because I was born in it. Myself, Fiona Apple, Zendaya and Jon Bernthal are all September Virgos. I mentioned it last week and can now say it again this week because, well, it’s September.

As salt begins to leave the air and doors stop being rusty marking the end of August, September is defined by its paleness, remembering the 21st of September, and waking people up when the month ends. It’s no meet me behind the mall, but it’s still something.

Beloved reader, it’s that sort of week again where I don’t know what to write about. It’s hard to keep this going! That’s what you signed up for though, right? Unbridled honesty and something incoherent about how hot Timothy Olyphant was in The Mandalorian?

Speaking of which, I still can’t believe his 20 minutes of screentime as intergalactic cowboy slut Cobb Vanth earned Olyphant an Emmy nomination. I mean, yeah, he was brilliant in his episode fighting off that giant sandworm from Dune alongside faceless armored hunk and former Hyperfixate mainstay, Pedro Pascal. Olyphant’s Cobb Vanth had everyone in a tizzy. I remember live-tweeting the episode when it came out waiting for someone else to bring up how hot he was before I did so I didn’t look insane.

I get embarrassed just thinking about it. Here I am, a person allegedly pursuing a career in arts and entertainment, openly admitting that many famously beautiful people in the industry I’m weaseling into are beautiful at an almost obsessive level. What is this newsletter if not thirst tweets persevering? All of this will come back to haunt me one day, I’m hoping in the way they make Jake Johnson read Thirst Tweets, Nick Miller-related and otherwise. I hope this can be something I can laugh about long into the future, a time in my life I’ll remember fondly. Sure, I’ll be mortified and wonder why 23-year-old me felt so much liberty to express every little insignificant, often depraved thought surrounding the media they were consuming all in the name of writing a funny line or two every week, but this is what being in the moment is about right? Why am I overthinking this?

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about how existing is embarrassing and not wanting to come off as “cringe” online. Unfortunately, I think about the latter a lot. It’s a subversion of the feeling of constantly being judged or scrutinized as a teenager, even if no one was watching. It’s really weird. I’m doing my best to just do whatever I want because social media isn’t that deep, but I can’t shake that anxiety of “well, what if what I’m saying is wrong?” which ultimately is just “what if my existence is wrong?”, which, at its core, is pretty fucking stupid. I’m not going to dismiss it as stupid, it’s just another series of links I have to re-wire in my brain. Existing is embarrassing, but it’s also just is. It is what it is, like The Irishman or Love Island. It just is. Existing will also look different for everyone, and there is no one way to exist. The more I remind myself of that, hopefully, the less antsy I become about being alive. The less being perceived as someone who exists feels embarrassing.

Olyphant honestly has my ideal career trajectory: pivot from stand-up comedy to getting typecast as cowboys on TV. I want to play a cowboy on TV so bad. #Manifesting.

Timothy Olyphant in The Mandalorian is just some guy in space that looks good in his silly little stolen Boba Fett outfit. The Television Academy certainly thought so, too. They thought Don Cheadle’s appearance for all of 90 seconds in Falcon and The Winter Soldier also warranted an Emmy nomination. Awards are whatever. They’re just more things. I’m on the outside looking in here, as I’m sure most of us are. It can be fun to celebrate the accomplishments of the shows that got us through one hell of a year after another, but it just is what it is.

Only Murders In The Rent-Controlled Building

I watched the first three episodes of Hulu’s Only Murders In The Building, starring Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez, and absolutely fell in love with it. It’s right up my alley; it’s a funny whodunnit starring people I grew up watching on TV. I love that Selena’s return to television is as yet another snarky artist from New York. I think she’s a brilliant actress, I always have. And she has such a knack for comedy as well.

Despite the gory premise of the show, it’s actually pretty delightful and has a lot of gutting emotional moments as well. The trio of Martin, Short, and the artist formerly known as Alex Russo brings so much depth and equal amounts of levity to characters that could have easily been caricatures. Everything from the writing, production design, and direction strike a perfect balance between intrigue and laughs. The pilot has guest appearances from Tina Fey and fellow 30 Rock alum Maulik Pancholy.

Immediately after binging those three episodes, I trolled Zalora, Tokopedia, even Aliexpress for a dupe of Selena’s faux fur jacket to no avail. I really need it. I will possess this look one way or another. I’m obsessed.

I’m genuinely so envious of all the apartments on the show. All the board/building maintenance-related drama is so fascinating to me. The idea that you can live in a place that’s bigger than a shoebox in one of the most expensive cities in the world is an idea the show definitely pokes fun at. On that note, I’m genuinely trying to wrap my head around housing crises worldwide so if you have any recommended reading for it, please let me know in the comments.

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If you get the chance, please give Only Murders a watch. I promise you it’s a good time.

Football is Life (Real)

Recently stumbled across this video again of the Ted Lasso cast after the FA Cup final. It makes me smile ear to ear every time. My beloved Greyhounds, send me your merch, pretty please. You can watch the full video here.

And on that note, I might be taking a teeny, tiny break away from Hyperfixate or at least downsizing this newsletter to a bi-monthly or even monthly ordeal. Gotta take care of the ole noggin’!

See you soon.

All my love,

Ari