EMERGENCY NEWSLETTER: Blue Velvet Blazer
Not-so-breaking news straight from the SAG carpet.
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Where do I even begin?
I watch award shows the same way I watch euphoria: via osmosis on Twitter. Instead of following along with everyone else’s live tweets of the euphoria finale, I was ambushed by an image I didn’t know I needed to see. Please find it enclosed in this email:
I do not care for award ceremonies. I only care if the hot people I write about on this newsletter are there. In this case, boy did they turn out. Let’s start with Bernthal, donning this stunning blue velvet suit jacket and his shiny, shiny shoes and Ukranian solidarity ribbon! He was in for King Richard, I’m assuming, unless the Screen Actors Guild has finally decided to honour The Punisher and I wasn’t informed. I think his hair here is the closest we’ll ever get to the Those Who Wish Me Dead look. Does he wish me dead? Not intentionally. Am I dying on the inside from the sheer Bernthalness of it all? You betcha.
I have looked at this image for too long, and even then I’ve just noticed that he’s wearing a bowtie. It’s bad for me, y’all! I constantly worry about this newsletter being drivel but here we are! Just need to react to Jon Bernthal being his usual bad self!
Speaking of Bernthalness, is anyone else tuning into his Real Ones podcast? I’ve been having it on in the background as I clean or work and it’s been decent. We obviously have differing opinions on policing—certainly on platforming police—but I don’t want to talk about politics right now. I don’t have the energy, which is unfortunate. There may come a time in the near future where I’ll write something no one needs to read about how you can’t expect much from the sexy people in movies even if they’re trying. In the interim, please enjoy this clip of him lighting up in the first episode of Real Ones with Jon Bernthal (and Bam Bam the Dog). (He’s just like me, before I was sober.)
There was also this image of Bernthal at the SAG Awards. With fellow Pisces rising Andrew Garfield (Jon isn’t a Pisces rising, but I am, also happy Pisces Season). All I have to say is that I fell to my knees at a Walmart (there are no Walmarts here) and I have yet to get up.
Another joint slay at the SAG Awards were two little men that went to Juilliard that have also occupied some real estate inside my mind. These little guys:
Oscar Isaac and Jeremy Strong opted for matching bowties and pinks! I love it! Perhaps they share a stylist! Perhaps they decided to be matching-adjacent and not tell Jessica Chastain about it! Perhaps Aaron Sorkin is watching, already penning a strongly worded Notes App statement for Chastain to tweet out because he has no social media! We will never know.
That is all I have to say. I wish I had the energy. I wish I had the brainpower. Congratulations to Lee Jung-Jae and Jung HoYeon on their outstanding Squid Game wins. I grew up watching Lee Jung-Jae in Sandglass and to see him win an award for playing perhaps one of the most Down Bad guys on television is incredible. Congratulations to the cast of Succession for being the cast of Succession. I miss you guys. Come back to me. Enough euphoria! Bring back Boar on the Floor!
Have a lovely rest of your Monday.
All my love,